The No Complaining Rule: Positive Ways to Deal with Negativity at Work, is now officially available online and at bookstores nationwide. In celebration, we have put together a special offer that includes over 30 bonus gifts from me and many other bestselling authors when you buy the book today!
No Comments »
Despite the title, The No Complaining Rule, the goal is not to eliminate all complaining. Just mindless complaining that negatively impacts our health and happiness and sabotages our individual and team success. And the bigger goal is to turn complaints into solutions and positive actions. After all, every complaint represents an opportunity to turn something negative into a positive.
While the title of my new book may make some think that I want to stifle complaining, in actuality, my approach is that people, teams and organization need to befriend complaining and make it work for us rather than against us.
Instead of letting complaining generate negative energy, we can use it for a positive purpose. We can use our own complaints as a “signal” or “sign,” letting us know we are on the negative road and then in the next moment we can take a detour to get on the positive road. Every complaint has an opposite. Each time we catch ourselves complaining, we can say, “Okay, I don’t like this or I’m not happy about this. So then, what do I want? What will make me happy? What thought will bring me peace instead of frustration? What positive actions can I take to rectify this complaint? What solution will address this problem?”
We can use complaining as a catalyst for positive change and positive action in our own lives, at work, and in the world. The key is to turn complaints into solutions. In this spirit try this exercise.
1. Take a blank sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle.
2. On the left side write down your complaints about your life, your career, your work, and whatever else that irks you.
3. On the right side next to each complaint write a solution or positive action you will take to address the complaint.
4. Take Action
5. Note that some might say that certain complaints are beyond their control, such as $4 a gallon for gas. In this case, really think about it and decide if there is something you can do to take action. We have more influence than we think. Often we just need to take action.
6. For your team there is a team action plan in the back of The No Complaining Rule.
Share your complaints, solutions and commitment to action here on this blog.
Stay Positive!
-Jon Gordon
2 Comments »Who knew that two simple words could change one’s mindset, perspective and approach to work and life? Just two words have the potential to enhance joy, productivity, performance and change a complaining voice to an appreciative heart.
So often we say things like, “I have to take the kids to practice.” “I have to go to this meeting.” “I have to finish this project.” “I have to go to work today.” “I have to take care of this customer.” “I have to share this new information with my team.” “I have to see my family this weekend.”
We act as if we don’t have a choice. As if we are imprisoned by a paycheck and the expectations of a world that forces us to do thing we don’t want to do. But in reality we do have a choice. We can choose our attitude and our actions. We can choose how we view our life and work. We can realize that every day is a gift. It’s not about what we have to do. It’s about what we get to do.
We get to live this life while so many like Tim Russert and my Mom have left this world far too early. We get to drive in traffic while so many are too sick to drive a car. We get to go to a job while so many are unemployed. We get to raise our children even if they drive us nuts at times. 
We get to interact with our employees and customers and make a difference in their life. We get to use our gifts and talents to make a product or provide a service. We get to eat three meals a day while millions of people are starving. We get to work on projects, answer phone calls, serve customers, participate in meetings, design, create, share, sell, lead and suit up every day for the game of life.
Yes there will be challenges and life isn’t easy but each day we wake up we get another opportunity to make today better than yesterday and tomorrow better than today. We get to uplift, inspire, encourage, and impact others. We get to live this life. Let’s make the most of it by remembering that life is a gift not an obligation.
To read more about “Get to” or “Have to,” read The No Complaining Rule: Positive Ways to Deal with Negativity at Work.
Join the conversation and share your “Have to” or “Get to” thoughts here.
Stay Positive!
-Jon
7 Comments »(Excerpt from The No Complaining Rule, Wiley, June ‘08)
One of the key principles of The No Complaining Rule is that we have a choice of how we invest our energy at home and at work. We can focus on the negative or the positive. We can focus on problems or use problems to create solutions. And we can focus on sharing positive energy or negative energy. It’s all about our intention, our focus and our habits. Bad habits create bad results and good habits create good results. And since one of the best ways to stop a bad habit is to replace it with a good habit, here are 5 positive things we can do each day instead of complain.
1. Practice Gratitude. Research shows that when we count three blessings a day, we get a measurable boost in happiness that uplifts and energizes us. It’s also physiologically impossible to be stressed and thankful at the same time. Two thoughts cannot occupy our mind at the same time. If you are focusing on gratitude, you can’t be negative. You can also energize and engage your coworkers by letting them know you are grateful for them and their work.
2. Praise Others. Instead of complaining about what others are doing wrong, start focusing on what they are doing right. Praise them and watch as they create more success as a result. Of course, point out their mistakes so they can learn and grow, but make sure you give three times as much praise as criticism.
3. Focus on Success. Start a success journal. Each night before you go to bed, write down the one great thing about your day. The one great conversation, accomplishment, or win that you are most proud of. Focus on your success, and you’ll look forward to creating more success tomorrow.
4. Let Go. Focus on the things that you have the power to change, and let go of the things that are beyond your control. You’ll be amazed that when you stop trying to control everything, it all somehow works out.
5. Pray and Meditate. Scientific research shows that these daily practices reduce stress; boost positive energy; and promote health, vitality, and longevity. When you are faced with the urge to complain or you are feeling stressed to the max, stop, be still, plug-in to the ultimate power, and recharge.
What will you do instead of complain?
Stay Positive!
-Jon
Developing Positive Leaders, Organizations, and Teams
Read and Share
Listen to the No Complaining Rule Tele-seminar online.
No Complaining Videos - Introduce the NCR to your team.
Download posters, resources and tools.
13 Comments »
Listen online or download a recording from Jon’s recent No Complaining Rule live teleseminar. Click Here.
Whether you are an executive, manager, team leader, or someone looking to turn negative energy into positive solutions, this recording will help you discover a powerful way to develop positive leaders, organizations and teams. When you implement The No Complaining Rule you’ll spend less time and energy on problems and more time focused on solutions, innovations and success.
No Comments »As a student of people and ideas I have to admit that what two guys are doing in a Northeast Florida Starbucks is absolutely genius.
The other day as I tried to pay for my green tea at my local Starbucks the cashier said, “Don’t worry about it sir. Those guys over there are paying for it today.” She then handed me their business card from a stack by the register. Turns out the guys were wealth management / financial planners who once a week, at different times, will spend a few hours at this Starbucks and buy customers their coffee or tea. Most people, like me, will walk over and thank the gentlemen and walk away with their business card in our pocket.
I thought about how brilliant this was. For many the coffee shop experience has become a ritual or right of passage that helps them take on the day. It’s become an emotional experience that makes them feel good. It’s become a bond of love.
Imagine yourself at the register, which is very easy for many of us, as you anticipate holding that coffee in your hand, thinking “YES.” Then the cashier tells you it’s FREE. Wow, an unexpected gift. Now instead of feeling good you are feeling great. You feel so good you don’t mind placing a stranger’s card in your pocket. When you walk over and say thank you to these financial planners they cease to be strangers and become more like acquaintances and neighbors. Then about an hour later when the caffeine really kicks in you’re feeling so great, you think, “Wow, those financial planners are great guys.” Now instead of acquaintances they have become more like long lost friends. These financial planners brilliantly connected something you love with a service they offer. Not surprisingly I found out that these men do receive a good number of calls from the Starbucks customers interested in planning for their financial future.
It is said we remember one third of what we read, half of what people tell us and 100 % of how feel. Whether we are watching a commercial, listening to a teacher, or talking to a sales person it is how we feel that impacts us the most. We can’t remember what we ate for lunch a week ago but we can remember where we were on 9-11 when we saw the World Trade towers collapse. We remember how we feel and when it comes to investing our money, buying a product, purchasing insurance or real estate, or choosing a restaurant we will make our choices based on these feelings.
This leads us to the greatest sales strategy ever-but it doesn’t involve coffee. While the Starbucks idea is brilliant it isn’t the best way to build a business. There is a far more powerful strategy to create an emotional connection and foster an emotional memory. It’s so simple and it doesn’t even cost a dime. It’s to love and care about your customers. Caffeine is temporary but a positive emotional experience lasts forever.
Customers do business with people they like and trust and who care about them. When customers feel like they matter and feel cared for they love back with more loyalty, more business and more referrals.
So if you are in sales, and we all are, I encourage you to make loving and caring about your customers your top priority. You don’t have to buy them coffee to connect your product or service with something they love. You can be the connection. You can be the bridge that connects your customer with your product or service. After all, no matter what we are selling, people are always buying our energy and making decisions based on how our energy makes them feel. And while coffee is an energy source that makes people feel good it doesn’t compare to the power of our positive energy. Look out for your customers interests. Show them you care. Share the love and you’ll be so successful you’ll be able to buy your own coffee shop and give away all the coffee you want.
How do you show your customers you care? Share your comments here.
Stay Positive!
-Jon
Her name is Tanya Walters. She’s a school bus driver in Los Angeles. I met her while speaking in California in February and I call her a real life JOY.
Like Joy, the bus driver, in The Energy Bus, Tanya is making a difference in the lives of her passengers. One day after realizing that most of her students were failing in school she decided to challenge them to do better. She challenged them to study harder, focus more and improve their grades. When they succeeded she took them on a trip on a marine biology cruise which led to the idea of a summer bus trip around the country. The purpose was to expose children to a world and life beyond the toughest streets in Los Angeles. She succeeded and now 7 trips later her non-profit, God Parents Youth Organization, has evolved into a powerful mentoring/ touring program that takes children to colleges and historical sites around the country and was recently featured on Oprah. You can watch the inspiring Oprah segment here: www.godparentsclub.org
So why am I writing about Tanya besides the fact that I have been thinking a lot about bus drivers lately? :)
My hope is that she will inspire you to be a driver of positive change at work, at home, and in your life. Tanya could have just continued driving her bus without doing anything meaningful. But instead she chose to drive with purpose. She chose to use her work to make a difference and have a greater impact on her passengers. Instead of letting the world influence her Tanya decided to influence the world.
Tanya represents the choice we all have—to drive through life with apathy and indifference or to drive with joy and purpose. Like Tanya we can all be a real Joy. We can uplift, empower, encourage, teach, praise and generate real positive change at work and in the people we interact with every day. We can all choose to be bus drivers and positively impact the people on our bus.
Today I encourage you to ask yourself if you are going through the motions or driving with purpose. Ask yourself how you can make a greater impact at work. Think about how you can make a difference in the lives of your customers and employees. What actions can you take that will uplift, encourage, serve and inspire? Think about how you can invite your family and kids on the bus as well. Then grab the steering wheel, step on the gas pedal and start driving. As Rosa Parks and Tanya have taught us, one small action on a bus can have a profound and lasting impact on people’s lives.
What action will you take today?
Share your thoughts HERE and feel free to email Tanya Walters at twalters@godparentsclub.org and wish her all the best as she embarks on a new bus trip June 20th.
Stay Positive!
-Jon
Like most people I have failed more times than I care to remember. I’ve struck out playing baseball, I’ve failed to win the client, I’ve lost the big opportunity at work, I’ve had to close two of my restaurants, I lost my race for city council of Atlanta when I was 26, I was fired once, I’ve had a few girls break my heart, I was once a month away from bankruptcy, I was initially rejected by over 100 publishers, I’ve made mistakes as a parent and boss and the list goes on and on and on.
Yet, when I look back I realize that every failure has moved me forward. Every failure taught me a lesson and made me stronger, wiser and better. I failed many times but I failed forward (I first heard this term from John Maxwell). Failing to win a client taught me what not to do so I could start winning more business. Shutting-down restaurants taught me to be smarter about picking the right locations. The girls who broke my heart led me to finding my wife and losing the race for city council led to me leaving Atlanta, moving to the beach with my family and doing the work I do now. I’ve realized that sometimes we have to lose a goal to find our destiny. Sometimes we have to fail to move forward.
I know some of you might be saying, “Well that’s you Jon. You’re just lucky. It doesn’t work that way in my life. You have no idea what failure has done to me.” I hear these comments often and I always respectively disagree.
I believe there are two kinds of people in the world. Those who fail and those who fail forward. We all fail but what we do with our failures is our choice. At any moment we can stop being someone who fails and become someone who fails forward.
As the great, wise American scholar Rocky Balboa once said “It’s not how hard you hit, it’s how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.” If that statement doesn’t sum up the life we all face I don’t know what does.
Through each challenge and failure we must stay hopeful and know that failure always leads to a better future if we have an attitude of faith, are open to the possibilities and trust that new and exciting opportunities are coming our way. We have to look at failure not as a dead end but rather as a detour to a better outcome than we could have ever imagined.
If you are experiencing a failure right now at work or home please know you are not alone. If you haven’t failed you haven’t lived. It’s time to ask what you can learn from your failure. What is it teaching you about yourself and your team? Realize it’s all a test. Then it’s time to fail forward, let the bags off the bus, step on the gas pedal, and travel light. Your destiny is waiting for you!
How will you fail forward? Join the conversation and share your thoughts here.
Stay Positive!
-Jon
What do you stand for? I was asked this question last week and several words came to mind: service, faith, family, action and positive energy. As I drove in my car I continued to think about what I stand for and what it means to stand for something. I thought of people like Nelson Mandela and Bono and what they stand for and what this says about them. I thought of the company Chick-Fil-A and how closing on Sunday’s speaks volumes about what they stand for. I thought about Starbucks and how providing health insurance to employees reflects what founder and CEO Howard Schultz stands for.
I thought of Honest Tea, a bottled tea that incorporates Honesty into everything they do. Honest Tea is not just a name. It’s a brand that is backed by words, purpose, energy and action. They use organic tea. They use all natural ingredients. They have a company policy against saying anything negative about their competition. They are part of the fair trade campaign. Their CEO, Seth Goldman, is a genuine, humble, nice and honest guy. Honest Tea stands for honesty. I like that.
It occurred to me that each person, organization and team has their own brand and what we stand for reflects and reinforces this brand. More importantly when we take action that is in alignment with what we stand for we strengthen and reinforce our brand and solidify what we stand for. When you stand for something you don’t just talk, you act. You don’t just have whimsical thoughts or weak beliefs about it, you have conviction. You don’t just go through the motions; you get engaged with purpose and passion. The energy of your brand is being projected every moment by what you think, say and do. This energy is then received by your customers, employees, and the world.
One of the most important exercises any person, organization and team can do is to ask the following questions:
1. What Do I Stand For? What Do We Stand For? Make a list of what you truly believe you stand for.
2. Do My/Our Actions Reflect What I/We Stand For? For example if you say you stand for great customer service but you don’t call your customer back in a timely manner or go above and beyond to address their concerns then you really don’t stand for great customer service. Evaluate your actions.
3. Make a Stand for Your Brand. Take action on the things you stand for. Right now, write down 3 actions that you can take that will reinforce what you stand for then take action on them.
4. Re-Evaluate Often. This will help you be aware of whether your actions are in alignment with your beliefs. There will always be discrepancies. No one is perfect. We all fall short. The key is to be aware and have a desire to improve. Tools like this newsletter are meant to help with the process.
How will you stand for your brand? Join the conversation and share your thoughts here.
Stay Positive!
-Jon
Watch these humorous 1 minute videos we made about complaining. Click on the video image to watch and share with your co-workers and friends or go to www.NoComplainingRule.com.
Now Available!
