Failing Forward
May 26th, 2008 Posted in Leadership, Newsletter, The Energy Bus, WorkLike most people I have failed more times than I care to remember. I’ve struck out playing baseball, I’ve failed to win the client, I’ve lost the big opportunity at work, I’ve had to close two of my restaurants, I lost my race for city council of Atlanta when I was 26, I was fired once, I’ve had a few girls break my heart, I was once a month away from bankruptcy, I was initially rejected by over 100 publishers, I’ve made mistakes as a parent and boss and the list goes on and on and on.
Yet, when I look back I realize that every failure has moved me forward. Every failure taught me a lesson and made me stronger, wiser and better. I failed many times but I failed forward (I first heard this term from John Maxwell). Failing to win a client taught me what not to do so I could start winning more business. Shutting-down restaurants taught me to be smarter about picking the right locations. The girls who broke my heart led me to finding my wife and losing the race for city council led to me leaving Atlanta, moving to the beach with my family and doing the work I do now. I’ve realized that sometimes we have to lose a goal to find our destiny. Sometimes we have to fail to move forward.
I know some of you might be saying, “Well that’s you Jon. You’re just lucky. It doesn’t work that way in my life. You have no idea what failure has done to me.” I hear these comments often and I always respectively disagree.
I believe there are two kinds of people in the world. Those who fail and those who fail forward. We all fail but what we do with our failures is our choice. At any moment we can stop being someone who fails and become someone who fails forward.
As the great, wise American scholar Rocky Balboa once said “It’s not how hard you hit, it’s how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.” If that statement doesn’t sum up the life we all face I don’t know what does.
Through each challenge and failure we must stay hopeful and know that failure always leads to a better future if we have an attitude of faith, are open to the possibilities and trust that new and exciting opportunities are coming our way. We have to look at failure not as a dead end but rather as a detour to a better outcome than we could have ever imagined.
If you are experiencing a failure right now at work or home please know you are not alone. If you haven’t failed you haven’t lived. It’s time to ask what you can learn from your failure. What is it teaching you about yourself and your team? Realize it’s all a test. Then it’s time to fail forward, let the bags off the bus, step on the gas pedal, and travel light. Your destiny is waiting for you!
How will you fail forward? Join the conversation and share your thoughts here.
Stay Positive!
-Jon
14 Responses to “Failing Forward”
By Natatia on May 26, 2008
As a teacher, I am sure that I will fail forward in reaching ALL OF MY STUDENTS; however, I will focus on the students that I reach and gain knowledge from that result and not dwell on those that were not touched by my life lessons; not just coursework, but my life lessons that I attempt to introduce to my students in their business courses that I teach.
Failing forward is a positive approach to perseverence and courage; it takes both to continue when the bus ride appears bumpy.
Great newsletter!!!
By Christine on May 26, 2008
I have seen myself as a failure most of my life.I made mistakes as I grew up and was told “Youll never be anything” or ” Youre so stupid.” You get told this for most of your life, you start to believe it is so.
Then you get out in the real world, or actually start to see how life and the world really is…and you see that everyone, even the people who put you down for making those mistakes, has failed at one time or another in their life.
You realize that failure is part of life, and can be an excellent tool for learning about yourself.
Thank you,Jon!
By Tyrone on May 26, 2008
Coincedentally I’ve had some similar failures to yours and it’s my nature to learn from them, but first I always go through an agonizing “what if” process which is not healthy but I always gather myself and move forward.
So it’s very encouraging to hear you speak about failing forward. It gives me more strength and empowerment.
Thank you so much Jon!
By dee on May 26, 2008
Sometimes I do not know where strength comes from. Jon hit the nail on the head with his commentary. As a reader, our perception is that of the writer having a more perfect life. Jon thanks for being one of us.
I will take your advice and run with it…Thanks
By Ursula on May 26, 2008
There are NO FAILURES only opportunities and learning experiences. It’s all a part of being positive mentally, find the good, even if it is the tiniest good, grab onto it and be grateful for it.
Thanks Jon for always reminding us that the glass is not only half full but overflowing!
By Steve Shaw on May 26, 2008
Hey Jon, fantastic blog post. I’ve been getting your emails for quite some time now and for some reason this is the first time I’ve opened one and read it. I guess I just figured you’d same the same old thing like everybody else, “eat your veggies and exercise”, but that was actually encouraging. Thanks a lot.
By Marty Keene on May 26, 2008
Story of Employment - Marty Keene
Marty Keene, with his wife, Kathy by his side, had been an Entrepreneur and well known Golf Professional in Vermont for decades, establishing, owning and operating golf retail stores and golf course businesses, designing/building golf courses and facilities, as well as, teaching golf and life skills to tens of thousands of people. Marty has also managed the New England sales territory for an international golf manufacturer, a major United Way Agency, a Federal Job Corps educational institution, and programming for the State University of New York, as well as, the retail and event operations for a major public zoo. Marty’s experiences, from having been a paperboy as a youth, to a leadership athlete, to holding many key executive business positions, to owning many businesses, have all had an influence on his tradition of bringing quality goods and services to the public, following his motto; “Customer service is the name of our game.” Marty has always believed that being of service to others is the highest calling that a human being could have. Marty has never believed that he had a choice of whether to do the right thing; it was just part of being true to who he was. His success and local fame were accompanied by his volunteering to teach Sunday school to the oldest children enrolled at his church, and delivering sermons while leading the worship services at times when the Pastor was not present. His wife, Kathy, worked in the family business by his side, and became the leader of their church’s Sunday school, Administrative Council and the Women’s Union which was responsible for conducting most all of the churches’ service and fundraising projects. Things were going along just fine, or were they?
Isn’t it funny that even when it appears from the outside that some people are succeeding at life and keeping “God” involved, that “God” would want to change all of that? In the midst of a multi-million dollar expansion to their family business, it was all swept away in late 2001 by bankruptcy. Yes, the bankruptcy was caused by many earthly reasons like “911” and a slowing economy. Thus, the process of re-establishing the predictable and smooth sailing agenda of Marty and his family had begun.
Marty and Kathy felt the pain of failure everywhere they turned, as they relocated their family from Vermont to Winston Salem, North Carolina. They kept their two sons in college at Elon University through ever expanding loans, lost all of their retirement savings, and learned that Marty was unable to easily find employment at the age of fifty! His wife, Kathy, supported him, though her fears of impending disaster grew.
God had stripped Marty of his earthly, manly ego and forced him to re-think his purpose in life. When he experienced being a broken and distraught man after 50 years of consistent success in life, he was brutally educated to the fact that beyond his immediate family and a very few friends, his Christianity was his only source of strength to continue forward. He and his wife Kathy would often joke about why “God” may have brought them to North Carolina.
After two years of their growing hopelessness, Marty was given the job of “Mentoring” the child of a prominent business leader in the Winston-Salem area. Kathy had found the employment listing in the local paper. Marty would have never thought that such a position would be his next likely career undertaking. But, it was the right fit. It was the right challenge, at the right time, with the right family. “God” was at work again, tending to Marty and his family’s need for purpose and income, while bringing Marty to a family who might benefit by his being a part of their lives. Marty’s variety of life experiences had given him a wide range of knowledge, and the ability to relate to a wide range of people. His optimism and direct informal approach had always been an attraction to younger people. Over the decades, Marty had been performing this mentoring role for the children of others, and his own, without being paid. Experiencing the joy of helping those in need, and getting paid, were both very needed things in his life. Marty’s confidence was growing, but could easily be set back by the smallest of obstacles.
Marty had always loved the excitement of developing and implementing successful business plans to serve the needs of others. During the summer of 2004, he began a golf tournament fundraising program called; “The $1,000,000 Golf Shot”. During the summers of 2004, 2005 and 2006, Marty conducted well over sixty events raising thousands of dollars for diabetes research and many other charitable causes. This series of charitable events opened the door to many contacts in the North Carolina golf industry.
During 2004, contributors to his fundraising efforts were not sent the “paid for” product from a supplier that Marty represented. To correct the situation, Marty personally opened an account with the product manufacturer, purchased the goods, and hand delivered the appropriate products to each deserving contributor, though the supplier never followed through or repaid Marty. With the money from his fundraising events for junior golf, Marty benefited many fixed income families of Winston-Salem by providing their children with free/reduced entry fee into his junior golf camps and several free junior memberships to the Reynolds Park Golf Course.
In August of 2005, Marty was asked to accept the position of Head Golf Professional for the Reynolds Park Golf Course in Winston-Salem. Marty’s responsibilities included developing and operating golf instructional programming.
So as 2006 began, Marty was again climbing the entrepreneurial ladder. His enterprises included an expanding mentoring / tutorial service, operating golf fundraising events, and teaching golf at a level that he had done for nearly twenty five years. All of these enterprises were successful in part due to Marty’s customer service performance. However, only the “Mentoring” was consistent enough to provide enough income to keep his family out of debt. But the mentoring position was temporary in the sense that it only provides income during the school year months, and by the time the final youth clients begin their senior year in 2008, they will have much less desire and/or need for a mentor to take them places and spend time with them. Coincidentally, Marty found out that when you do some jobs very well, you actually work yourself right out of the job!
Over the following years, Marty tried several financially unrewarding business projects, and continually sought new clients for the wide range of “Contractual Services” that he offered. However, for he and his wife, Kathy, the real answers to finding happiness and purpose are most likely to be found back in their “Home Culture” of New England!
Dear Reader,
This is a true story. My wife Kathy and I have been in North Carolina since December of 2001. In a very short period of time, I had gone from “King of the Hill” to “A Man Without A Country.” I didn’t realize it for quite some time. I just saw it as another obstacle in the game of life. I had always been able to achieve anything my mind became set upon. My first objective was to make certain that our two boys were O.K. The family business was gone and it was all they had ever known. In fact, they had played an important role of working for the business over the years. My wife and I moved to Winston-Salem, North Carolina, an hour from Elon University, where both boys were enrolled. I felt that we needed to be close enough by to know that our boys were O.K. I knew this meant not being so close as to stifle their college life. My other thought, in the move, was to be close enough where our boys could see that their mother and father were O.K. If you haven’t already gathered, we are an extremely close family. The move, however, isolated us from everyone we knew, except our boys. We figured we would quickly fit right in. We were wrong!
The bankruptcy had stripped us down to very few assets and even less cash. I had to get a job! I confidently visited area golf businesses, looking to help some business “really succeed.” Smiles and story telling don’t put food on the table, nor did my answer to the question, “Are you a PGA member?” I wasn’t seen as qualified for more than a service counter position, and no one wanted to hire an over qualified service counter worker who would surely be unhappy in the $6 per hour job. Next, I wrote business proposals to several local golf facility entrepreneurs. After nearly thirty local turndowns, I turned to the internet. I contacted all the golf course management companies and golf course design companies in the East. When I did get a response, which wasn’t often, it would be to say that I didn’t have the degrees, certifications or belong to the associations of the other candidates, and therefore I was not being considered. “To heck with golf”, I said. I had many cross-over skills. I set out to get a management job in another field. I applied at a variety of retail stores. They mostly promote from within and they certainly didn’t want a 50+ year old entrepreneur, who they perceived as only knowing golf and who probably wouldn’t take orders from the more youthful management team of a big retail chain. Next, I tried educational institutions. Hey, I had always been successful at climbing the ladder there. I must be kidding. In no uncertain terms, I was told, over and over, that I was not degreed or certified to hold even the lowest rung positions. “And besides, you haven’t been in the education field for almost two decades now. Things are different now.” When I tried non-profit agencies, the same guy who was hired as the youngest Executive Director of a United Way Agency was the same over-the-hill, unqualified, only a golfer person that needed to be rejected in the same way as was done by the educational institutions. While conducting this massive search, I had employed one of the most prestigious employment assistance firms to improve my resume, networking skills and presentations. Also, I had expanded my search to most of the East Coast and beyond. Other than giving professional assistance to the “Lt. Governor of North Carolina” Campaign of Jim Snyder, golf department consulting for the local Sports Authority store, teaching golf part-time, selling life insurance, and tutoring/mentoring the son of a major business leader, the youngster who had conducted the largest job fair and doubled the institution’s job placement rate, hadn’t gotten any substantial job that he sought. What a difficult realization to accept for the guy who created all of his own breaks along the way. All of the people, who were motivated or paid before to assist me with my quests, were no longer motivated and I was out of money. For the last two decades, my wife and I had worked 100+ hours per week to run a business and provide an income for hundreds of employees. We had contributed to the state and federal tax base fifty fold, compared to the average taxpayer. (Literally, well over a million dollars through the years.) I would not apologize for our pride or hard work. With bankruptcy on my record and the facts that I am in my fifties and from the Northeast, I have found myself in a position of not being able to get a job in a traditional sense…especially here in the Triad Area of Winston Salem.
During this same time period, my wife Kathy had gotten two professional positions. One was as “Office Manager” for a wholesale pharmacy, and the other as “Clubhouse Manager” for a semi-private golf and country club. In each case, she was harassed and threatened by other employees who were raised in the “South”. She was called “Old Damn Yankee” and other names that I won’t mention. She was plotted against by other managers, and threatened physically with a knife, without there ever being any actions taken against the guilty managers and employees by the owner of either private enterprise. In each case, for reasons of safety, I had to have her resign from those positions.
We still have the strength of our family. Our youngest son, Kristopher, finished his Business Degree from Elon University in the Spring of 2004, and is climbing the management program for the “Outback” restaurant chain. Our oldest son, Richard, finished his Law Degree from Campbell Law School in 2005. We had named our first born Richard Walter Keene III, as my father was the 1st and my brother Dickie, who was killed while serving in the United States Navy aboard the USS Liberty in 1967, was the 2nd or “Junior”. Our son Richard is a 27 year old lawyer in Raleigh managing many other lawyers in the process of doing legal research for one of the largest research firms in the country. He passed the Bar Exam in Washington D.C.
As for me, I will soon be 57 years old and still seeking that right position that will provide the needed continual purpose of life (to serve others) and income enough to afford retirement in the future.
Sincerely,
Marty Keene
(336) 794-3801
MKServices@triad.rr.com
By Nasra on May 26, 2008
Great article and totally agree that if you have not failed you have not lived. We all must learn from our failures, it is how soon you bounce back that makes a difference.
Thanks Jons you made my day!
By Susan W on May 27, 2008
I am currently falling forward and looking for my purpose. I have so much to be thankful for in my personal life but my business is currently not making me enough money to live off of and I am not a frivilous person. I know I can make something of my business, I just keep going forward and keep looking for the right direction.
Jon your positive look on life is something I share. No matter how your day goes you ALWAYS have something to be thankful for. I only hope I find my purpose/direction soon. Thanks for all the positive infulence!
By John Aitken on May 27, 2008
Really a big thank’s Jon. Great article today and It came at a great time. I regard myself as a somewhat resilient and tough rubber ball that keeps bouncing back. However recently I have been feeling my resilience failing and I have become grumpy and angry at nearly everything. I seem to have most time for people at work and less time for the family and its showing through in my relationships. Totally upside down in terms of priority if we dont take care of the soil in our lives i.e. the family we wont have anywhere to grow. great timing thank you
John
By Connie Atkinson on May 27, 2008
Experience reveals God makes no failures. Life’s greatest lesson comes by looking within our being and relying on the confidence “Love” never fails us. Always give thanks unto the Lord for His enduring Love abides forever!
By Mike Tomasello on May 29, 2008
LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT! Thanks Jon!
The only regrets I have are for the the chances I didn’t take. For even those that didn’t work out have made me who I am today! So, if I could go back in time, what would I change? NOTHING. All those experiences and setbacks (much better word than failure isn’t it?) helped me.
By Frances Tonry on Jul 23, 2008
I was relieved of my position (6/22/08) at a company I didn’t enjoy working for. I have now taken my part-time business and working to make it full-time. I am attending the meeting and taking very good notes that normally I heard but didn’t apply. Now I’m taking that information down and passing it on to my down-line which has just grown in the last 60 days. I am making plans of attending our annual training in Baton Rouge in October. I am helping others Slumber Party Sister who are overloaded with work.
It is great to have been relieved of my position.
By Frances Tonry on Jul 23, 2008
I was relieved of my position (6/22/08) at a company I didn’t enjoy working for. I have now taken my part-time business and working to make it full-time. http://www.slumberpartiesbyfrances.com I am attending the meeting and taking very good notes that normally I heard but didn’t apply. Now I’m taking that information down and passing it on to my down-line which has just grown in the last 60 days. I am making plans of attending our annual training in Baton Rouge in October. I am helping others Slumber Party Sister who are overloaded with work.
It is great to have been relieved of my position.