Jon Gordon’s Blog | Developing Positive Leaders, Organizations and Teams

By Debra Cohen on May 4, 2009

Keep up the positive energy.

By Jane Barr on May 4, 2009

Obviously you (Jon) touched that steward right where he needed it. You did what Dale Carnegie always referred to as “Appealing to the nobler motives”. My thought is that we never know where a person is in their life. Who knows, maybe someone had yelled at that person or maybe they were worried about losing their job or maybe something happened in their family. What ever the case they weren’t focused on the customer at that moment they were focused on their own problems. I know for myself that sometimes when things are not going well that it can be difficult to pull ourselves out of that negative attitude. Your saying something probably made a bigger difference than just getting them to smile at the passengers.

By Janice Hawkins on May 4, 2009

I want to thank you for the wonderful write up and newsletter article on Danny Ganns. I drove thru Vegas a lot while my children were attending children in Utah and always saw the billboards but never stopped to see a show. Reading about how fantastic of a person he was and is makes me sad that I missed that opportunity. So, thank you for sharing with us his values and his lessons and example that I will take with me always. God indeed has bigger plans for him, and we were all blessed that we had those short 50 some years to share his space here. Thank you again.

By Crissie Cudd on May 4, 2009

This is actually more about Danny Gans. I was so surprised and distressed to learn of his death. I heard him years ago at an Amway convention. His talent was amazing and it was no surprise when he became nationally famous. I didn’t know about his baseball aspirations but it must have been a special kick for him when he had a role in the movie “Bull Durham”. He was a good guy and we need more good guys in this world. Thanks, Jon, for a fine tribute and for being one of those good guys!

By mandana on May 4, 2009

to me, compassion is what you did, but sometimes i find myself not having the courage to say what you said to the flight attendant.
but walking away and ignoring that behavior is perhaps not the best option either.

By Rob Bartlett on May 4, 2009

Something I have done is to look for the postive. If you can find something that the person has done that is postive, or at the least not negative, then I express appreciation for that action. My aim in doing that is to build the positives in the person in the hope that it carries over. The tips 2,3 and Jon’s I am going to use after as well now.
Cheers
Rob

By Trudi on May 4, 2009

In very simiar situations, I have in the past also confronted negativity with a positive energy by saying: I’m a pastor…may I pray for you about something. You are obviously having a difficult day, because this (restaurant, airlines…) always hires the most positive employees and you seem to be really struggling today….. I either get the response of yes, please pray for or no, but the attitude changes towards me and others immediately.

By Randy Peyser on May 4, 2009

Hi Jon,

For my “Can of Positive Energy”: I was copying some flyers at a Kinkos and the machine jammed. When I asked for help, the manager came over and was extremely rude, taking his frustration out on me for something that had nothing to do with me. He was way out of line. So when I got home I typed up a letter and faxed it to his store.

It read:”Dear Mr. Manager, I am the customer you went off on today. I just wanted to write to wish you much happiness in your life because when people are happy, they treat others better. Sincerely, Randy Peyser”

By jim novotny on May 4, 2009

Your speech may have worked with that particular flight attendant, but I wouldn’t recomend it to anyone else. My wife is a flight attendant and the one thing that immediately turns her off is someone who starts the conversation saying how much they fly. It’s usually followed by how much more they know about flying than she does. You heart was in the right place, though.

By Chris Cavanagh on May 4, 2009

I was invited to lunch last Friday by two women from a promotional products company; I provide marketing services on a per project basis for growing companies and when I had met these women at an event a week earlier they were excited to hear how I might be able to help them. One of the women was absolutely lovely; the other arrived late to the lunch, then took a phone call which lasted about 20 minutes (she did step away from the table) and for the rest of the time she complained about her boss, their new office…it felt almost like an assault…seriously she went on and on and on for almost an hour. And of course she was a Yes, But person — any suggestion was immediately squashed with a Yes, But…after spending almost two hours with this woman what I took away is that I never ever ever want to be like that. First it was unprofessional, but more importantly she has no idea who I know — maybe I would have some great business leads for her…and also there she was sitting across from almost 25 years of marketing experience and she chose to complain. We all have a tendency to sometimes go down the black hole; I sometimes love wallowing in self-pity…but it gets pretty boring pretty quickly. So the positive thing for me about that lunch was seeing/hearing loud and clear how I don’t want to be.

By Chris on May 4, 2009

Jon -
This isn’t a comment specifically around the negative flight attendant but rather one of my responses that I use on people when they are looking at situations through a negative lense… I tend tell them “yes, that is one way you could look at it…or you could also look at this way”. I tend to find that it recognizes the way that person is feeling but also focuses the energy in a more positive way…..

By Barrie Props on May 4, 2009

I may have said…not a good day for you today. It may have allowed this person to rethink what they did to make you ask the question.

By Darlene Sowa on May 4, 2009

I had a similar and responded first of all by not taking things personally, and then offering love and compassion. Let me explain. When I was at the veterinarian’s office last week, I was questioning one of the procedures that they wanted to do with a technician. I didn’t think it was necessary and the technician said it was required. My vet overheard our conversation. She responded (I’m paraphrasing here) rather loudly and sharply that they would give me a copy of my pet’s records and I could take my business elsewhere. Her comments were so harsh that everyone in the office was stunned. Something in side of me told me not to take it personally. So I quietly and in a very mild manner told the technician that I did highly respect the vet and her to exam my dog and I was not interested in taking my business elsewhere. I was then escorted to an exam room. Minutes later the vet entered apologizing over and over again and was really embarrassed about her behavior. She shared that she had been under a tremendous amount of stress. She held out her hand to shake mine, but we hugged instead. I think both of us learned a lot that day about love and compassion.

By Joe V on May 4, 2009

Good question Jon! One that needs to have me in that situation so my current state of mind gets its chance at influencing my approach! However, if I pretend that I am in that situation right now, I would be hard pressed not to rip into him. Rather, I would remind him that everyone here is looking to him for help. These people are depending on you to lead them through their problems, both big and small. He has a rare opportunity (with his job) to start new relationships several times a day, a stage of sorts, to perfect this useful life tool.
I would then extend my hand and introduce myself!

Joe

By anna on May 4, 2009

I always knew where I was going or what I was going to do, now, menopause, depression, joint replacements, a lonely life, been at work for 33 years, must care for an elder parent, must care for a large house, I do it all alone.

By Sam on May 4, 2009

People are affected by the economy. I smile when I speak because I’m a happy person and people get offended. It is a crazy world.

By Mike on May 4, 2009

Interesting scenario with the flight attendant and not unlike many other situations we all walk into.

Maybe a somewhat different approach might apply to different situations?

When I go through a supermarket checkout these days the “presence”, greeting and response varies tremendously.
Some people just do their job so well.

Regardless, I always put out my hand for my change, and, the docket, look at the person (with a smile) and say “thank you for your help”. I deem it their choice as to whether they take my good wishes on board.

I’d probably have said something similar to the flight attendant. I think most people want to be acknowledged and appreciated in what they do.

However, if someone has suffered an emotional event like a loss, or domestic argument etc.I tend to think that in a perfect world they probably should not be at work that day if they are involved in customer service.

We don’t live in a perfect world and people have to turn up to their jobs therefore I would suggest there is not always an answer for every moment and event.

By Todd in Santa Fe on May 4, 2009

I once heard someone say to another who was having a hard day. “I hope the rest of your day gets better, unless you chose otherwise.” It’s all about choice . . . we can choose to be happy or choose otherwise. Peace out and in.

By Wizzard on May 4, 2009

I have found that what ever you want in life you must give away. want love kindness and respect? give this away. Hate disgust and anger? then give this away. Knowledge? then give this away. That is why teachers learn much more than students. Money? Then give this away. It is why employees never have money..They only take it in and never give it away(invest). Business owners who are giving it away(investing, paying employees) receive the most money. When I say give it away I mean invest, not throw in the garbage.

By Pamela Lewis on May 5, 2009

I’m not sure that I would do anything different in your situation - I have not been flying around the country that often. However, I have found that acknowledging and treating others with compassion and respect often lightens the situation in the check-out line, at a restaurant, and other service related encounters. Often, people are glad that they were noticed.

By Jennifer Joyce on May 5, 2009

Dear Jon,
In 26 yrs of being a hairdresser, salon leader, now district leader, I have on many occasions found my self at odds with clients or co-workers with negative thoughts.
We had a regular client named “Mary” (fake name), she drove about 20 miles to get her hair cut by one of our top stylist who charged a higher price. Every time we knew she was coming we all cringed. She never said anything nice to anyone. She complained about the drive, the cost of the haircut, the salon being too crowded, our dress code, our co-workers, our chairs, you name it she complained. One day I finally got fed up and decided I was going to do something different with her. I had just been through the “Fish” philosophy training (”pike place”), and decided I was going to “MAKE HER DAY!”. I was determined to find something good about this lady and tell her so. After she arrived, I was a little frantic because I was having a hard time “thinking” about lying. I didnt want to do that. Then I noticed how BLUE Marys’ eyes were. I walked up to her and interrupted her tantrum about her drive and said,,,OH MY Mary,, your eyes are so blue,, is it that lovely green blouse or contacts… I swear I never noticed how beautiful your eyes were….I finally found her speechless! She blushed and turned into a mushy sweet old lady. I did tell the truth and I believe that is why it worked so well. We all giggled later, but found her to be much more approachable. I made it a point to always greet her and make her feel at home as time went by. Now that Im gone,, she still asks for me.. even though I never did her hair. I use her story for all my associates to show how truthful kindness can brighten someones day. Ultimately, she is unhappy inside for reasons I will never know..But that is not important. I was able to relieve her misery and give her a few moments of joy and peace!

By ann on May 5, 2009

I have been faced with a similar situation in the supermarket. I smiled at the teller and said ” I know that sometimes our days are rough and having to work so hard we feel the pressure. However just know that before you know it the day will end and so many out there are without a job and guess what you have one. I pray that whatever is troubling you will be eased, so smile and thank God that that too will past. She smiled and said thanks.

By Wanda Montano on May 5, 2009

My daughter works for one of the airlines and encounters many unhappy passengers. I am constantly amazed at how unruffled she appears to be. One day she told me that she had lost it at work. During a passenger tirade, she looked at the guy and said “Will you excuse me for a minute? I need to go into the back room and wave my magic wand around and see if I can fix your problem.” The guy looked at her, laughed and said “I’m being an asshole aren’t I?” The situation defused and he accepted that she had done all she could.

There are so many times when I am in the airport where she works and I observe her interacting with passengers and I have found myself asking those rude passengers how they would feel if she were their child and someone was abusing their child like this? I often get a “gee you’re right”.

By Mirian Carlech on May 5, 2009

All the time we have some situations that you have to use your seance, just let’s go.
This post is fantastic. Jon Gordon, you are the best. I loved. I try to be positive to all the situation in my life.
Thanks for the Positive Energy…

By Cheryl Clark on May 6, 2009

I don’t feel this was a “can of positive energy”. It was reminding the attendant of the need to act in a more positive way, but it was done by critisizing the way he was currently acting by saying he needed to act in a more positive way. How about just stating the fact that he seemed to be having a bad day, or he seemed to be not quite up to acting in a postive way that you know flight attendants on this airline act, instead of telling him “you need to…etc”. I think you were a little rude.

By Opal Mobbs on May 6, 2009

Jon

I think the way you handled it worked great. I ususally try to just be positive in situations like that and be nice sometimes it softens the situation and I come away feeling good knowing I didn’t get sucked into the negative black hole.

By Opal Mobbs on May 6, 2009

Jon
I think you handled it just fine. I have done the same thing myself, I also try being nice and not respond in a rude way that usually helps soften the situation.