Play to Win
October 26th, 2009 Posted in Leadership, Life, Newsletter
There was a time in most of our lives when we had no fear-that feeling when we jumped from the jungle gym and slammed our little bodies to the ground. Perhaps it was when we went on our first roller coaster, or when we were in high school or college and felt that there was nothing we couldn’t do. No goal was unattainable. We were an unstoppable force that would think of something and then make it happen. Then, as time goes by, the world tells us more frequently that we can’t do what we want. The doubters laugh at our goals and try to persuade us from going after our dreams.
They say, “You’re crazy. It’s too hard. Why don’t you do this instead? You should play it safe.” They act as if dreams were meant for others but not people like us. They surround us with negative energy and try to instill their own fears and insecurities in us. We not only begin to know the word “fear,” we start to understand what it’s like to be fearful. With so many people telling us we can’t do something and so few telling us we can, it’s hard not to let fear into our lives. Unfortunately this is how many of us go through life.
Whether you are 20 or 50, many of us become so scared of losing what we have that we don’t go after what we truly want. We play it safe and hold on so tight to the status quo that we never experience what could be. We believe the doubters and don’t take chances that will move us one step towards our dreams. I call this “playing to lose”. We see this in sports all the time when a team has the lead. They start to think about how not to lose instead of how to win. They hold on so tight to their lead that they start playing safe and scared. You can see it in their energy and body language. As a result the other team takes chances, plays with no fear and eventually gains the momentum and wins.
To live a life filled with positive energy we must learn to repel the energy of fear. Whether it comes from within or from another person, we must overcome fear and adopt a “play to win” mindset. Playing to win requires a commitment to yourself that even if you fail, you will never give up and never let your goals and dreams die. Those who play to win know that success is not given to us. It is pursued with all the energy and sweat we can muster. Obstacles and struggles are part of life and only serve to make us appreciate our success. If everything came easy we 
wouldn’t know what it felt like to truly succeed. Obstacles are meant to be overcome. Fear is meant to be conquered. Success is meant to be achieved. They are all part of the game of life and the people who succeed play to win and never give up until the game is over.
Do you Play to Win or Play to Lose? Join the conversation on our blog here.
Stay Positive,
Jon
Tags: fear, jon gordon, play to win, success
15 Responses to “Play to Win”
By Susan Robertson on Oct 26, 2009
Jon, I look forward to your weekly newsletter and words of wisdom and motivation. I always have looked at life as the cup 1/2 full (instead of the other option). I am the Advertising and Promotions Manager for a local/tourist attraction and also forward your “gems” to them, in the hope that something will get through to the negative ones. Recently, one of the negative ones wrote me to STOP sending him the “Jon Gordon garbage”. I was hurt and felt like writing back about how much good your words can do, but I didn’t. And I’m not going to take him off the list, either. He has a choice. He can hit “delete” and not learn anything or, perhaps, one day, ONE of these messages will inspire him to live a more positive life. One can always hope.
Thank you, Jon.
Susan Robertson
By Paul on Oct 26, 2009
I am playing not to lose….and this hits the nail on the head! I just turned 45 and am looking at how do I protect what little I have versus focusing on building anew. Very appropriate.
By Duane on Oct 26, 2009
Reading your article, I realized how mediocre an existence one can live if he lives fearfully. I recognized several fears that have held me back and I’m determined to face them and replace them with action!
By Donna on Oct 26, 2009
I have been playing to lose and sabotaged many wonderful business opportunities in the process. Your newsletter has been so inspiring and will gradually help in reaching the truth of why I do this to myself. I have many fears to face and realize that I can only do this by action that leads to overcoming those fears…..as long as I think and believe and don’t act, the deeper those fears root. Enjoying the journey to success is my daily goal and accepting that this is my personal journey. Thanks for helping me stay positive and understanding the power of that positive energy that works for us.
By Darin Zielsdorf on Oct 26, 2009
As I read this, I couldn’t help but think about how my parents were two of my biggest supporters, always encouraging me to go for it. What a great lesson, as I now have two kids of my own. Instilling in them a positive, can-do attitude is critical. And delivering this message can be difficult, given the large number of doubters we’ve all faced along the way. It’s so easy to put limitations on someone versus giving them every opportunity in the world to “go for it”!
By Marv Kramer on Oct 26, 2009
You’re right it’s all about “playing to win” even if you don’t ultimately win. I’ve been “playing to win” in the same game for over 50 years. I can attest to the fact that one of the positive feelings you receive is called LIKING YOURSELF. That’s in contrast to one of the negative feelings you will receive if you don’t “play to win.” That feeling is called DISAPPOINMENT WITH YOURSELF. That can be a big time STOPPER.
By Texas-Kev on Oct 26, 2009
When I got laid off two years ago at the age of 39 I was devastated. I had to settle on a job making 25% less. I know, poor me, but I overspent, over committed and life has been a struggle since then. But I learned a lot of valuable lessons from that knock-down. Most of which is to keep on pushing and believing even tho that voice in my head tells me I’ll never make it. I’m back on my way to reinventing myself in an industry full of shining 20-somethings. Thanks for the positive message.
By Mike on Oct 26, 2009
Interesting to read that Jon wrote this article a few years ago.
I’ve been looking for a small catch-phrase to center myself from time to time and will try utilising “Play To Win” as an “anchor”.
I do ponder how often these days I can support and assist other people objectively in their situations, yet, often I seem unable to help myself.
I wonder if others can identify with this?
By Matt on Oct 26, 2009
Being inundating with negative thoughts from internal and external sources, it is difficult to pull through and be positive. It is encouraging to read the comments of you that have struggled with a lot of the similar things, but yet have overcome (or are overcoming). Thank you for sharing. It is an encouragement for so many silent voices.
By Joe Gallagher on Oct 27, 2009
This is the essence of how we approach life. The analogy with sport is so apt and it hits the nail on the head. The perception of being a winner is such an energising concept to get into your way of thinking. The world is full of negativity if we go looking for it and also positivity if we seek it!
I am going to keep this Play to Win philosophy in my mind. I am especially going to keep it in my head as I play tennis where I need to start winning again.
By karen on Oct 27, 2009
Your newletter couldn’t have come at a better time and I agree that as we get older we do start to doubt if our dreams are worth following. All too often buying into playing it safe, especially in this day and age of economic uncertainty. Thank you for those encouraging words. It’s time to continue to follow my dreams, even at 57!
By Suzanne Bates on Oct 28, 2009
So many people have lost their “play to win” mindset during the recession. Even those who have take risks, built businesses and worked in their dream jobs have been pummeled over the last few months. Your advice is inspiring and timely. I’m going to pass it on to my readers.
By Lizzie on Oct 28, 2009
Hi Jon:
Your blog entry speaks directly into my life situation for the past 5 years (maybe longer!). Too afraid of so many things to create goals, or do a lot of things I have dreamed of doing. In doing so I have limited myself and failed to share with those around me. Thanks for these timely words of encouragement!!
By Randy on Oct 30, 2009
Thought provoking article, Jon. Thanks!
What is winning? Definitions are key to understanding - and essential to shared understanding.
A few winners in history who had an unorthodox definition (by American Business Standards) to reach success by “playing to win”:
o Jesus Christ
o Mother Teresa
o Martin Luther (and Martin Luther King, Jr.)
o Chief Joseph of the Nez Perce
o Nelson Mandela
o Vlachec Havel
o Lech Walsea
..and the list goes on!
What’s the point?
Philippians 4:8-9:
“…whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me - practice these things…”
If your endeavor doesn’t meet the true, honorable, just, pure, commendable, excellent, praiseworthy test…you’re not really “playing to win”. If it does meet that test, don’t just “think about it”, ACT.
Action is the new competence.