5 Things to Do Instead of Complain
March 1st, 2010 Posted in NewsletterI’ve been speaking to a lot of organizations around the country and the one thing I keep hearing from leaders and employees is that complaining is at an all time high. I’m not surprised. There are two main reasons why we complain. 1. We complain because we feel powerless. 2. We complain because it’s a habit. The economy has shaken a lot of people’s foundations and we feel powerless which leads to a rise in habitual complaining.
So this week I want to encourage you to go on a complaining fast. Not because it will make everyone around you happier, although it will, but because it will help you experience more joy, peace, success and positive relationships. Believe me; I know a lot about complaining. I use to be a professional complainer and found that it not only sabotages your happiness and success but the morale of your team and family.
To help you break out of a “complaining” rut here are five things you can do instead of complain. These tips will help you realize you are not powerless. You have the power to choose your beliefs and actions. And in your focus on the positive instead of the negative you’ll find the faith, strength and confidence to take on life’s challenges and identify the solutions to your complaints.
1. Practice Gratitude. Research shows that when we count three blessings a day, we get a measurable boost in happiness that uplifts and energizes us. It’s also physiologically impossible to be stressed and thankful at the same time. Two thoughts cannot occupy our mind at the same time. If you are focusing on gratitude, you can’t be negative. You can also energize and engage your coworkers by letting them know you are grateful for them and their work.
2. Praise Others. Instead of complaining about what others are doing wrong, start focusing on what they are doing right. Praise them and watch as they create more success as a result. Of course, point out their mistakes so they can learn and grow, but make sure you give three times as much praise as criticism.
3. Focus on Success. Start a success journal. Each night before you go to bed, write down the one great thing about your day. The one great conversation, accomplishment, or win that you are most proud of. Focus on your success, and you’ll look forward to creating more success tomorrow.
4. Let Go. Focus on the things that you have the power to change, and let go of the things that are beyond your control. You’ll be amazed that when you stop trying to control everything, it all somehow works out. Surrender is the answer.
5. Pray. Scientific research shows that daily prayer reduces stress; boosts positive energy; and promotes health, vitality, and longevity. When you are faced with the urge to complain or you are feeling stressed to the max, stop, be still, plug-in to the ultimate power, and recharge.
What do you do when you find yourself complaining too much?
-Jon
Read The No Complaining Rule. www.NoComplainingRule.com
19 Responses to “5 Things to Do Instead of Complain”
By Amy on Mar 1, 2010
When I find myself complaining I do something good for another person/group. This helps a lot, and I gave up non-constructive complaining for LENT that has helped even more!
By Crissie Cudd on Mar 1, 2010
Just watch the news for 5 minutes. You can’t possibly still feel entitled to complain once you see what other people are dealing with!
By Andrea Scott on Mar 1, 2010
I take a deep breath and then find something to be thankful for. I try to shift my energy to focus on what’s positive about the situation. There’s always something to be thankful for.
I like Amy’s decision to give up non-constructive somplaining for Lent. I’ve taken on joy and thanksgiving for Lent. It’s going to be interesting to see what surfaces.
Blessings,
Andrea
By Margarita Pizano on Mar 1, 2010
If people complain about an individual, I turn it around and find something positive instead. I ask the person complaining to pray for them and to let go. Leave it to the Lord. If someone hurt me, I just “cancel, cancel” and let it go. I do not keep any bad thought in my heart. Life is too short, we must be happy and enjoy the day
By Ray Cook on Mar 1, 2010
First, I catch myself, Second, stop, and third, remember that I am thankful I have a job and all the benefits my company and work bring. If the situation seems overwhelming: prayer and releasing the problem to God can’t fail. Faith is the most important invincible force here with us!
By Pamela on Mar 1, 2010
When I find myself complaining, I stop, take a moment and quickly inventory the good things in my life from breath to having a home. That creates a positive mood and allows me to climb out of the pit of complaining.
By susan on Mar 1, 2010
I’m very cognizant about complaining and always try to see the sunny side of any situation. I say to myself, half these people don’t care about my problems and the other half are glad I have them! That very fact will make me stop complaining all the time.
By Mark Storey on Mar 1, 2010
I believe these are the most significant 5 elements for focus. Thanks for the GREAT reminder, Jon.
When I catch myself being a whiner/complainer, I tell myself to “stop it!” I usually accompany this admonition with a reminder that no matter how sorry I believe my plight is, my situation is much, much better than millions and millions of other peoples’. What do I really have to complain about? Not that much when it comes right down to it. There’s more snow coming!!?? Ok, that means there’s that much more moisture we’re adding to the water tables, and that much more of a ‘blanket,’ for the plants to stay warm under. The economy is down the tubes! Guess what? I can’t control that, but I can control how much benefit and value I bring to my clients and network each and every day, and when my actions are positive, they become additive to everyone else’s positive inputs, and the tide comes up a bit for all of our boats. I don’t have as many prospects in my pipeline as I’d like to have? I’m grateful for the opportunity to fine tune my marketing plans and sales processes. Not feeling like I’ve achieved much lately? I check my inventory of goals that have been accomplished, and what that means to my partners first, then what it means to me.
By Randy Bosch on Mar 1, 2010
Complaining is not rewarding in any way. It pays dividends of damaged relationships, lost opportunities, loss of focus on the good right in front of us, damaged health, and more. Yet we all do it.
The five alternatives to complaining you set forth are all that is needed. Let’s all give it a go, with no expiration date!!
By Bob Moore on Mar 1, 2010
Get outside for some fresh air and go for a walk to reflect!
By joan Gillies on Mar 2, 2010
Stop & say to myself . . . Do something about the situation(s) and stop complaining; to complain is to pass the buck. I feel that for the most part, no one is entitled to complain; there is usually a degree of control that can be put into action in any given situation on one’s part. You can only change a situation that is within your own control; you’re surely not going to change the disposition of another except maybe/hopefully by vigilant example. So if I catch myself complaining or about to, I stop and meditate on this herein noted
By davidburkus on Mar 2, 2010
Why do I feel like every manager should print this and post it on their door?
By Andrew P Moore on Mar 3, 2010
I am glad to see prayer on there. I believe that everyone should find a spiritual focus in order to gain strength. Prayer really helps provide focus. Great Article
By josi geloso on Mar 4, 2010
i find that complaining only makes it worse ..it doesn’t solve the problem.. an if we just keep a positive thought an prayer on appeciation an gratefulness that all will be taken care of then we will find that all will be done for the good…
By PREM SINGH NEGI on Mar 5, 2010
I personally speak with Him and seek His holy guidance through Prayer.
By Tracey Lamb on Mar 8, 2010
Very timely topic
By Mike on Mar 14, 2010
I have a list that I created with all the things I have been blessed with in my life. I was amazed at how the good far outweighed the bad. I review the blessings list almost every day.
By DAVID LANGE on Mar 17, 2010
JON, IT WAS AWESOME TO SEE YOU PUT GOD FIRST WITH YOUR CHOICE OF MUSIC FOR YOUR VIDEO. I REMEMBER YEARS AGO RIDING DOWN AN ELEVATOR WITH YOU AFTER RECENTLY ACCEPTING CHRIST AND WE HAD A SHORT CONVERSATION ABOUT YOUR TALK. I AM A COMPLAINER. IT’S HARD TO SOAR LIKE AN EAGLE WHEN YOUR SURROUNDED BY TURKEYS, HAS BEEN A MOTTO OF MINE FOR EVER. MARK STOREY-THANKS FOR MORE OF AN INSITE THAN JUST COMMENTS. PERHAPS OTHER’S COULD EXPLAIN MORE OF THE PROCESS THEY GO THROUGH WHEN THEY REALIZE THE SITUATION IS GETTING WORSE. THANKS FOR INPUT. GB
By Ashok on Mar 29, 2010
Just ask myself, what about you ?? What is wrong with you that you started finding fault wth others !!
Thanks for putting the points structuredly.AR